School or Skool??

While living with my mother I learned how to scrape by with the least amount of effort. I never wanted to set my goals or standards to high. I kept this up for most of my life. Who did it hurt if I only got C's in school? Sure I was capable of getting straight A's but it was too much work. After I somehow managed to graduate from high school I took any entry level job I could get, even if that job had no future. I worked as a hotel maid and have many jobs in the food service industry. I knew that I could do better but I just didn't want to put the work in. I made enough money to pay for rent, power, water and food so I thought I was set. While I didn't want to put the work in to get a better job I did work my tail off at whatever job I was working. I got my share of promotions throughout my working career but I didn't stay at one job too long.

When I got pregnant I was working a seasonal job. When I got laid off it seemed silly to get a job when I would just be taking time off for the baby anyway. Luckily my husband worked a job that paid well so we were able to scrape by. After having my baby however I wanted more for her. While I will always make sure she has what she needs I also what her to be able to have some things she wants. Can't really do that when you only make enough to cover the bare essentials. I want to be able to send her to dance lessons or soccer or what ever her little heart desires. That isn't to say I want to buy my child everything under the sun. She won't be getting everything she asks for just because the kids at her school have everything. However I would like her to be able to have new school clothes and supplies when she needs them. If she decides she wants to get into a sport of some kind I want her to be able to try out and have all the equipment she needs. I want her to be able to have sleep over with lots of movies and games. Or if there is a birthday party for a school friend at a venue she has to pay to get in, I don't want to have to go through all the change in the house just to cover the charge. Essentially I want her to have everything she needs with some things that she wants.

In light of wanting to better my life for my family I have started attending community college to earn a degree. I am also working at a job that is in the making of becoming a career. My mother in law is a legal assistant and is training me to be one as well. The attorneys I work for have also been encouraging me to go to law school. I never in a million years thought that I would be considering law school but I am. If I do go I want to be a child advocate.

After finishing my first week at community college I can't help but wonder what my life had been like if my mother finished her education. She never finished high school and I only remember her holding down one job. I wonder what my life would have been like if meth had never entered it. Would my mother had finished her education? Would she have held down a job to take care of her kids? While meth destroyed my life I will make sure it won't destroy my daughter's. I can't make my mother get and stay drug free but I sure can make I do.

Taya

P.S. Please head on over to Facebook to check out the Addict's Child page. I tend to keep it updated on my blog posts.