A few days ago I celebrated my 27th birthday. The whole day I wondered if I would hear from my mother. I wasn't really expecting anything from her since she disowned me on Facebook a few months back for calling my adopted mother mom in a picture. So I was surprised when I recieved a text message from my mother at about nine o'clock on the evening of my birthday. The text contained birthday wishes and also a phone number so I can call her "if I want". Those were her words. She had a phone in hand with my number and yet wanted me to call her. I did not call her and my husband and brother agreed with my decision.

I have always been the one that dragged my mother along in our relationship. I have been the one to call or text. She has never put any effort into our relationship. For a long time I was okay with the situation. However in the last few years things have gotten worse. Whenever I get her on the phone she doesn't talk to me, she talks to whoever is in the room with her. She never wants to hear how things are going with me or my family. It is all about her and the people she is with. She thinks I care about people I don't know and have no desire to know.

I have noticed that with my mother's addiction she is very selfish. She expects me to be available when she calls even if it is at midnight. She truly believes that my brother and I are completely devoted to her and will do whatever we can to get her what she wants. I think she still thinks of us as a 6 year old little boy and a 12 year old girl. She really doesn't understand that we are both adults that have our own lives.

I mentioned my mother disowning me a few months back for calling my adopted mother mom in a picture. What is really messed up is that she did it in a very public way on my Facebook page. I really tried to explain that she should only be angry at herself. She is the one that chooses to stay away and not participate in my life. While I don't address my adopted mother, "R", as mom I do call her mom when I am talking to other people about her or share things about her on Facebook. Looking back on my life R has really been a mom to me. We have fought, laughed and cried with each other. She went to my sports games, choir concerts and dance recitals. When my homecoming date senior year ditched me as soon as we got to the dance, R was on the phone the next morning ripping him a new one for making me cry. She has always been there for me when I needed her. We haven't always gotten along but we always try to make an effort to keep our relationship going. She helps me with my daughter when I am sick and watches her so I can work parttime. I will always be grateful for all that R and my adopted father S. They showed me what a family is supposed to be.

And for all these things my mother is jealous. That's the only reason I can think she would disown me and not talk to me. I think another thing is she feels guilty. She knows she should be here with her kids and yet her addiction keeps winning. I hope one day my mother is strong enough to win her battle with alcohol and drugs. I truly believe that she has the strength hidden deep inside of her and if she just tapped into that strength her addiction would not stand a chance.

Taya